Each of us are fighting battles, tending to wounds, and accepting scars; this year I’ve been on an intensive journey of self-love, awareness, and acceptance, and even though life is getting better I didn’t realize how much compassion and patience I’d need to give myself.
Bounding down the gym’s stairway and hurrying through a lonely hallway, I stopped mid-step, as if bumping into the force field surrounding what lie on the floor. My own shadow on the walls and reflection in the glass of the exit door startled me.
Winter is dancing around us, and I’m eating more cookies and candy than I should be. I used to be pretty addicted to sweets, but I’m better now. I swear! Hopefully my teeth will forgive me for temporarily reverting back and devouring lots of pecan toffee. On the bright side, holidays are an excuse to eat goodies… and my vegan diet is only getting better, and I exercise regularly. I’m healthier and happier than ever before! Minus a couple sorrows… but we all have those.
I don’t want to glorify depression. As a writer, it’s natural to glorify both the good and the bad, because life and all it includes is beautiful. I am fascinated with happiness as much as I am with pain. Drama and tragedy are my favorite parts of a story, but I cried last night about the exploitation animals and people experience every day. In a story, the death of a unique character with his or her own perspectives is layered with growth and lesson for the other characters and reader, but in real life, the passing of a loved one feels like a personal punishment.
For whatever reason, I always miss April’s camp session. The first year (2013), I might have been too burned out by NaNoWriMo, or I just had no idea what “camp” was. In 2014, I forgot, and in 2015, I remembered too late and instead decided to wait for July (which did not lead to any successes either).
I don’t feel all that prepared for April 2016, but it’s March 23rd and I’m thinking about it, so… that’s as prepared as I’ve ever been. My desire to write has bloomed in the course of my first year in college, and I understand more than ever that in order to get myself anywhere in writing, I need to write. And I want to. Writing is difficult, but I love it. So here I am, a college student fluttering in a tornado with a goal to stay afloat. Besides, there is never a consequence in trying NaNo.
Moments ago, I submitted a cabinmate request in the forums and hope to get some fellow college students interested in joining me on this adventure. At first I felt extremely intimated by putting myself out there as a cabin leader, unsure if my schedule and my tornado-fluttering could deal with it all, but then I realized I didn’t have to go through my experience alone… I can surround myself with people who are experiencing the same trials! I never understood the true purpose and beauty of cabins until now, and I’m grateful for NaNoWriMo thinking all these things thru and providing us with these great opportunities.
I look forward to (hopefully) meeting new writers and college students and acting as a brave and fearless leader for my new friends! I want us to be a team, so I will work as hard as I can for my cabinmates and myself.
My fingers are crossed for an emotional, successful, and fun April.
Join in! https://campnanowrimo.org/sign_in
Thinking about writing and squishing origami stars to life, I’m pondering the next steps I need to take to get somewhere.
Today was a procrastination day, but at least it was active procrastination. I cleaned up my apartment, caught up with my mom, who’s been away for awhile, did some social media sharing for my blog, and ventured deeper into the lands of NaNoWriMo’s community. Ooh, and I checked out books from my JC’s library for the first time! My ID number is officially in the library system..!