“2018 Me is going to be my favorite!” I’ve been thinking, feeling more and more true to myself as I sashay into the new year.
Earlier in New Year’s Eve week I saw Coco with some KNCA friends, and on another day I hung out with a friend in downtown Spokane. I thought I wanted to go to a party on New Year’s Eve, but the introvert in me refused. Instead I joked with my parents about turning up at home… so I baked cookies!
These were the best peanut butter cookies! The chocolate drizzling (or drowning) made them a peanut butter/chocolate chip cookie hybrid. Along with dessert I made a vegan holiday feast of regular and sweet potato baked fries, pesto bruschetta, salad, and lemon sauteed veggies~!
They’ve come a long way this year with their diets – my mom is nearly a vegetarian/vegan, though she has dairy foods here and there; my dad flips from omnivore to vegetarian/vegan, but he’s definitely eating fewer animal products. He lost 30 pounds this year, so yay for Papa! I’m both proud and grateful that they’ve given veganism a chance and that we’ve had a vegan Gratitude Day (Thanksgiving), Christmas, and New Year’s Eve together.
By the time we finished eating and talking, it was 11PM and my parents went to bed. I wanted to clean (get liiiiiit), but I fell into an online window-shopping rabbit hole instead. Whoops. Before I knew it I had only a few minutes until midnight! I decided to start the new year off right: brush my teeth and wash my face.
I wished my crush a happy new year first and sent this gif to flirt and goof around:
He didn’t acknowledge it, as expected… but the second message of the new year had me too preoccupied to overthink it. Messenger notified me that “Angela Z-something” requested contact with me, and I didn’t recognize the last name but assumed it was the Angela I know. Upon accepting, I saw a message preview pop up in bold letters. The words astounded me, and I opened up the full message.
“Ur so ugly go kill urself
“Like die in a hole lmfao”
Angela Ziegler, AKA Mercy, from Overwatch… was cyberbullying me?
I wrote back with a laugh, “Mercy noticed me!”
When I first read the message I immediately had a guess at who it was due to recent drama I got mixed up in, but I didn’t think anyone involved would harass or suicide bait me… I hoped I was right, but I didn’t understand how and why a stranger would contact me to insult my looks – plus my Facebook profile picture is one of the prettiest ones I’ve had. Why bully me now? I shrugged it off.
The me at the end of 2016 would have been sent spiraling into a storm of self-doubt and self-hate, but 2017 patiently taught me better. This stranger only expelled my compassion (and amusement – it’s a great story!), because their own sadness or anger brought them to me, a seemingly inferior target to bruise and devour like a vitamin for strength.
Angela responded, “Ya noticed how fugly u r just fkn die cunt.”
I asked Angela if he/she was the person I thought and stated my disappointment if so… then I wrote that I wished for any sadness or anger to heal, and that Angela learn to be more compassionate.
“The world needs more love,” I said, and Angela wrote back, “wut this is English.” I closed the message knowing I shared the right amount of positive energy and could let go now.
Since then I haven’t heard from Angela. My mom suspects the person was sending mass texts to strangers, but I hope not. I was able to handle the message maturely and calmly, but someone could be vulnerable and wounded like I was years back. I recently reported Angela to Facebook, and hopefully the account is taken down. While it might not stop the person from making a new account, I did the best I could and will leave the rest up to the individual.
The morning of New Year’s Day I made cat-shaped hotcakes, ’cause I know how to party.
Unfortunately one of the cat heads split open when I tried flipping it. Still delicious, and no actual cats or other animals were harmed! :3
My first “extravagant” meal of 2018 is vegan pasta bolognaise over carrot noodles. Yes, carrot noodles~! What are carrot noodles? Peeled carrot slices boiled in water for 3-4 minutes! Super easy, filling, and fewer calories than pasta… pasta is still great though.
I also went to a showing of Studio Ghibli’s film Castle in the Sky and did a casual-dressy-ish cosplay of Shiemi Moriyama. I’ve really gotten into cosplay and fashion this past year, and though I didn’t see or talk to anyone (except the popcorn guy) I loved getting dressed up. Walking in heels over the make-shift ice-rink in the theater parking was a scary adventure.
When I was getting dressed for the event, my friend/crush kept calling me even after I told him I was busy. Weak to his adorable antics, I asked for some second opinions on the outfit. Finding out the event was that night, he hesitated, “You’re going out tonight? …but it’s late.”
It was 6PM.
2018 has been a fun year so far, and I’m trying to work out a blogging schedule to help stay organized and active… my biggest disappointment of 2017 was not writing about my travels and personal growth and starting 2018 eager to run away in terror from all forms of writing. Feeling like a completely different person makes my return to blogging even scarier… I’ve treated this as a personal/lifestyle blog, and I feel obligated to keep tabs on what I’m doing and “who” I am. Putting my discomfort into words really illustrates how silly it is.
My 2018 blogging goal is to write about life’s adventures/encounters/lessons and document any traveling I do, especially because I think “2018 Me is going to be my favorite!”
Happy New Year, blogosphere!