On December 23rd, I said goodbye to California for the second time.
The first time, I fought to leave and experience a new home in Illinois, convinced that all my friends had moved on and I should too, but ever since I left I yearned to move back. When given the opportunity to in the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I jumped aboard (my only regret is parting ways with an amazing and true friend). Though high school still didn’t seem perfect, I felt happier. I worked hard to earn my place and happiness.
My parents wanted me to move with them to Washington, but my intuition told me to stay in California. With persistence, I conveyed to them that I was creating my path and needed to follow my heart. For a short time I was truly content, and I know it was the best decision to make.
The Sun always felt warm, and even on the days it made me want to lay inside all day, the outside welcomed me. I enjoyed hearing the sounds of cars and far off chatters of neighbors. There were always places to hike and adventures to pursue, great friends to spend nights around a fire with, and quiet study days on campus – I loved how many windows the library had. Events took place every day, and I remember sitting alone in the cafeteria when a flood of people came to watch a panel about consent and safe sex. I half-listened and half-worked, but everyone was supportive and kind. I loved where I lived, because even though space was limited, I always had welcoming and kind people around me. I enjoyed (and sometimes complained about) doing little chores to keep the room clean and nicely decorated. Cookie always meowed when the door opened, though sometimes people bumped her with it. On the days I’d wake up sad and spend to much time locked away in the room, all I had to do was go out and soak in the sunlight. The snow in Washington is beautiful, but I love the sunny days of California best.
Whether its the land and soil, my love of the city life, or all the people, California calls me back. I realize now that it is and will always be my home. I feel in my soul that I’m meant to be there, but when and where is unclear. For now, I might travel and experience other places (Seattle, maybe?), but at the same time I want to pursue California. I do have an idea of where I want to live when I get there… but that’s a secret for now. 😉
After packing my belongings and retrieving Cookie, the following day was time to say goodbye. The morning began with only a couple cotton clouds overheard, but a storm loomed until the sky finally cried alongside my heart. For peace, I replayed in my head a wandering quote, “The Sun is always shining somewhere.”
And then I realized… the clouds, the grey, and all the raindrops only hide our Sun. I awaited the moment we tore through the clouds and hovered above them, glowing like the snow in Washington. The sky was clear, and the Sun shined brightly; it’s always shining, just pass through the storm.